Friday, January 22, 2016

Five on Friday

Five things on my mind this snowy Friday.

Learning Tree Courses

Work gave me the opportunity to take some learning tree classes from home this Wednesday - Friday.  No matter what anyone thinks these are NOT days off.  I'm not saying that the classes extremely difficult but they do move at a fast pace and the breaks are limited.  I'm honestly appreciating all the new skills that I'm learning.  They are assisting me in my professional and personal life.  I wouldn't be able to do my insane PCS excel tracker without the skills I learned from Learning Tree. 

Neko Atsume

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You guys, this is disgusting lol.  I should not be addicted to this stupid little cat collecting game/app.  But I am...  I so am!  I must collect all the cats and make them love me enough to bring me all the mementos!  This article pretty much sums up the addiction.

Coloring


I've hopped on the adult coloring book bandwagon!  My friend J got me the Sweary Book and there is one particular page I'm excited to color.  LOL!  Ooooo I strongly recommend the Prismacolor pencils!  They are amazing!  The downside is they are a bit pricey but if you get on the Michael's app you can use coupons to get them 50%.  It's still going to be more than crayola, but if you're like me and like quality....

Pictures of my littles as littles

With the move coming up I'm trying to really organize every part of my life.  I have 3 different laptops laying around that I don't want to haul with us so I'm having Ticklebug pull off all the pictures on them.  So I don't have chaos on my current laptop I'm started organizing the pictures into albums on my Mac.  Here's a mini collage of some of my absolute favorites from when we lived in Japan!


Svedka Vodka



...Don't judge me!  There's a huge ass snow storm that's supposed to be coming! I might be locked in the house with my crazy kids for days!  I know I'm not the only parent with this line of thinking!

So that's what's on my mind today...  I'm going to go get a glass of Svedka mango painapple vodka and tonic now!  Yay! 


Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Verbal PCS Orders Feels



It happened, my husband got orders to Hawaii.   


Well, they are only verbal orders, for those of you that don’t know it just means that the detailer (person who assigned Navy personnel to a specific duty stations) says something along the lines of, “This is where you are goin'!  We will get the official paperwork to you eventually."  Eventually is typically a few months before the actual move.  The time between the verbals and the official orders is stressful because there is that worry that something will happen and where you thought you were going is completely different from where you actual end up going.  This is rare, but it does happen.  


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Everyone has been asking how I feel about this and the most accurate word I can think of is bipolar.  I'm constantly walking a fairly thin line between excitement and dread.  One moment I'm behind a closed door crying on Skype to Becky about how I'm going to miss our daily chats on the drive home from work then not even an hour later I'm all giddy on the google machine looking up beaches and hiking adventures.  
The kiddos have been my main motivation for keeping more on the excited line, even if at times it feels forced.  This is the first big move that the girls will actually remember and I don't want them being depressed about it.  I want them to be excited.  When we initially told them there were a lot of tears as they expressed concern over leaving family, friends, field hockey (Bug is very upset about this), and even school.  I know that sadness is normal, but I don't want them to think that this move is the end of their lives.  I know that's dramatic sounding lol but that's typically how young ladies tend to think.

Pretty much (via)
It's currently the end of January and the move won't take place until sometime between July and September but I've already started the planning phase.  I’ve looked for checklist online but none of them contained everything I wanted/needed so I developed my own.  It’s a bit insane…  It’s an excel workbook that has six worksheets/tabs. 
I know it's intense but this is the first time in 12 years that Ticklebug and I will have done a PCS move together.  In the past one of us had to follow on for one reason or another.  And those times we didn't have to worry things like the girls switching schools, me leaving a job or selling a house.  
My number one priority with everything going on is to stay positive and not let my anxiety run on me.  I'm not the first military spouse to be stressed about PCS orders.  As my friend Renae would say over at More Than Mommy "Find the silver lining."

Silver Linings Playbook

Monday, July 13, 2015

The Joys and Pains of Working Out with my Significant Other

When I see pictures of couples that work out together that look like this

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I think to myself, "That shiz is not for real!"   When Ticklebug and I go to the gym together it's more along the lines of this...

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 And he's all...
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And he's loving it so much that he's probably thinking something like this....

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Except he's not holding a whistle.  He's holding my precious iPhone so I can't text my friends and say what a cuntcake he is.  Sidebar --  If Dean Winchester wanted to boss me around all physical fitness style with a whistle in his mouth, I would be game!

Anyway, going to the gym with girlfriends (I miss you, M) there's fun and laughter.  We talk about the regrettable spaghetti dinner we had and laugh at our awkward and compromising stances.  When I work out with Ticklebug it's all work no play.  There is little conversation besides the "You can lift heavier than that." or "You're not going to incline your run?"  He doesn't approve of my random giggles when exercises look just super dirty...  And he insist on doing exercises that I loathe, like the stair stepper.  I swear every step feels like I'm stepping into purgatory!!

It's okay Crowly, I found it!  It's on the stair stepper! via
 Okay, really, I'm slightly over exaggerating.  I actually love that Ticklebug and I go to the gym together.

1.  It's quality time with no kids.  Our gym has childcare and it's been worth the additional money.  It feels good to do something together that doesn't involve the couch or Netflix.

2. It's a confidence booster.  I love when he tells me how I've improved or when he encourages me.  I admit though, sometimes I want to swing the dumbbell in his face and be like, "Leave me alone!  I suck!  I wanna eat a cookie!  I wanna eat all the cookies!"  But really...  I love when he tells me how much he loves the results of the gym.

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 3. Most of all, I love, love love, watching him work out.  I will be so mad I'm plotting how to make his death on the equipment look like an accident and then all of a sudden I'll see his biceps flexing and be like....  "Yessss!"
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Honestly, working out with Ticklebug has been one of the best things for me.  He has shown me what I'm really capable of by pushing me constantly.  And while I tell him all the time I hate it and him, in reality I actually love it.  What's even better is that after six months of doing weight training and cardio I got him to go to yoga classes with me.  Is it wrong that I get some sick satisfaction watching him struggle to stretch?  Like, I'm thinking to myself, "Haha, mother fucker!  You're not the master of all exercise now!  Are you?"


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I'm linked up with Meg for the Monday Mingle.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Five for Friday

While searching through the blogging world I saw this Five for Friday thing where you post five things that have been on your mind.  Since I love random things this seemed perfect for me!

1.

While we were at Disney World I went in the Christmas shop and found these adorable ornaments. 

I got the Ursula one at Disney and just bought the Ariel one this week

It combines two of my favorite things!  Disney and high heels!  I decided I'm getting one per paycheck.  Why?  Because I can!  I work hard for my money.  I deserve to have some kind of random collection. 

2.

Speaking of money I've been addicted to mint.com  Mint is a free personal financial management site.  It tracks bank accounts, savings accounts, loans, credit cards, investments, all of that stuff.  My favorite thing about mint is that you can categorize the different things you spend money on and it will give you a pie chart and break down how much is spent. 

For help check out LifeHacker
This week I noticed we spend WAY too much on food.  My family needs to learn to eat more from the fridge.  A lot of this Ticklebug and I blame on working outside the home.  We get caught up in so many things that we forget to meal prep, shop, all that nonsense.  We gotta work on that so we can be like this!  LOL!

I love Orphan Black via
3.

Realizing we need to work on eating out of the fridge on Tuesday I made this amazing chicken katsu! 


I've been thinking about it all week.  It makes me miss Japan.  I'll let you in on a secret though, chicken katsu is SUPER easy to make!  The curry on top we actually bought.

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Yes, it's the real deal.  They use it in Japan.  It's got the Japanese stamp of approval from our friend Masae.

4.

The doctor this week told me that I have runner's knee and to take it easy on the hard impact exercises.  I've been thinking about taking on more yoga.  I'm debating doing another gym membership that is dedicated to yoga or kind of go at it on my own.  My current gym only does it once a week and I would like something that happens more often and is challenging. 

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5.

Last.  I've been thinking nonstop about military promotions.  I watched two of my friends (both Army) get promoted in the past few weeks.  I adore watching good things happen to good people.  The reason that military promotions are lingering on my mind is because late July or early August the Navy is going to release the results for E-7.  This is Ticklebug's first time up and I think (actually I know) I'm more nervous than him.  I'm also flailing about thinking about the few other friends that are up that I hope make it.  Even though I'm not in the military anymore I can't help the excitement!

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Sunday, July 5, 2015

Trapped in a Room with a Zombie

I love a lot of things....  (Probably because I'm a little bipolar with a short attention span)  Two of those things are puzzles and The Walking Dead.  Last month I got to go on an outing that combined the two.  It was bluntly called Trapped in a Room with a Zombie.  You may ask, what is that!?  Well, you pay $28 to get locked in a room with a zombie for one hour with 11 other people.  The zombie is chained up but every 5 minutes the chain is extended a foot so by the end of the hour he can reach all corners of the room.  To get out of the room you need to find clues and solve puzzles to get the key to unlock the door.

When I had originally scheduled this outing it was supposed to be kind of a triple date.  Unfortunately one of my girlfriends ended up taking her sick nephew to the hospital so I filled in and had two dates.  Yay me!

Jexican, me, Ticklebug
Entering the building we were greeted by a woman who called herself Professor Von Guttenburg.  She pointed us to a table full of "Hello, my name is ..." stickers and instructed us to fill it out with any name we pleased.

You can't see it well but Ticklebug and Jexican decided to up the bromance factor by being Power Rangers together.  Jexican is Green Ranger and Ticklebug is Red Ranger.

I was really the third wheel to their bromance date lol.
 K and I went the DC superhero/villian route.


After everyone figured out a name Professor Von Guttenburg sat us down and explained that Dr. Oxy had become infected with the zombie virus and locked himself in a room.  Dr. Oxy had left clues around the room in case he became a human again and needed to escape.  She also explained the rules, like "Please, don't hit the zombie, we were only given one" and gave us helpful tips to succeed.  When we finished the rules we were lined up to walk into the room.    

Entering the room what concerned me the most was the zombie not being out.  That meant the asshole was hiding somewhere and would jump out.  While gathering clues and putting them in one location I was cautious not to go anywhere that looked like it could lead to an open spot.  It was good thinking because I wasn't the one that discovered the zombie.  If I had I'm pretty sure I would have peed myself a little.     

In the room there were so many clues, there were symbols, colors, words, riddles, etc.  It was difficult because with so many clues it was hard to know where to start.

Dean would have known what to do.
It's a good thing there were multiple people because we were able to spread out, some worked on finding clues while others attempted to decode and solve puzzles.  Solving the puzzles was the key to moving forward.  The solved puzzle would provide more clues and give hints to what the next puzzle should be.  As if this wasn't challenging enough the zombie was chasing us around, making it hard to focus.  I moved around so much I built up a sweat...ewww.


We were on the last clue when time ran out and we got eaten by the zombie.  If we would have had an additional five minutes we would have made it out.  We left the room and Professor Von Guttenburg went over the different strengths that each person showed.  Freaking Ticklebug is such a Type A that has to be in charge that he got all kinds of awesome scores.  What a Twatwaffle!  After that we stuck our name tags on the wall and then took some pictures with Professor Guttenburg and Zombie Dr. Oxy. 


It was so much fun.  Probably one of the most unique outings I've ever been on.  I'm hoping to do it again in a few months, after I've forgotten some of the clues.

Linked with

Meg's Monday Mingle

Sunday, January 4, 2015

2014 Resolutions Results and 2015 New Goals

Didn't I say last year that I hate using New Years as an excuse to better myself?  Yup, I believe I did...  A year later I think I may have changed my opinion.  It's good to make goals.  Using the new year as a reason to better yourself isn't a bad thing.  Just as long as you remember to reflect, see if the goals were accomplished, and come up with how to get better results next time.  In addition, don't limit yourself to making goals once a year, make new ones through out the year if you need too.  I did. :)

Last year I made two resolutions.  The first was to get my life more organized.  I don't think I completely failed in this.  Ticklebug and I took on a few small projects.  My favorite was taking apart Bug's closet.  The original one just wasn't working for her. 

Bug's closet before.
Working on Bug's closet.

Bug's closet after.

S trying to take me away from my organization project because she's a twatwaffle.
Looking back I see now that I want expand beyond just doing organization.  I want to do one home project a month for 2015.  It can be painting, decor, organization, anything that makes a positive change in the home.  I don't want to limit myself to organization when there are so many other projects that need to be done. 

The second resolution was to show the people I care about that I appreciate them.  I don't know how I feel about this now.  Sometimes I felt I was doing great and sometimes I felt that I was just a mess.  The mixed emotions, I think, come from having expectations.  Whenever I did something I was expecting the person to turn around and do something back.  I don't want to get wrapped up in thinking about it, it's all water under my bridge. :) I know I still want to do things for people I just know that now I need to adjust my expectations.  The knowledge that I did something for someone else should make me happy enough.  Prior to the new year I readjusted this goal and so far it's going great.

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The struggles I had this year with being let down did teach me that I need to keep the ties in my family stronger.  Together Ticklebug and I came up with our 2015 New Year resolutions. 

1.  One weekend a month will be dedicated to family oriented adventures that are kiddo focused.  We will talk with the girls and figure out what they want to do, not make the decisions for them.  I'm sure they don't find pleasure in watching daddy play Call of Duty or having me drag them around DWS looking for heels.

These adventures can be anything from going ice skating, swimming, camping in the living room, etc.  We agreed that these adventures can include other families as well, but we want them to be families that we consider extended family.

2.  One night a month dedicated to a date night for Ticklebug and me.

Knowing Ticklebug it will probably be me that plans out these dates.  I'm okay with that because it gives me the chance to find unique things to do.  The idea of doing a dinner and movie over and over can get boring.  I want to try something fun that has us engage each other. 

None of this.  via

These resolutions have short term and long term goals.  Hopefully by the end of 2015 I will say I can account for 12 awesome family adventures and 12 awesome date nights.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Classy Strip Clubs Do Exist!

When my friend L asked me if I would be down to go to a strip club for her quarter of a century birthday I said, "Of course!"  I have no issues with going and watching boobies!  Who doesn't love boobies!? 

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The problem is that in our area some of the strip clubs are lacking.  When I say lacking I mean that the exterior resembles something from a run down coal mine town and the interior looks like the inside of a cardboard box with a large table and chairs.  A poor building could probably be overlooked if the entertainers were even slightly entertaining.  Half the time they just sway back and forth, no tricks, or anything worth remembering. Knowing that our local strip clubs are like this L told me, "I want to go to a classy strip club."  I responded with "Is there such a place?"  She said, "In Baltimore."  I assured her I would find one and figure out all the details.  Of course I waited until the last minute (like I do with everything in my life) and when the day came I was scrambling on my phone to try and find a classy strip club.  BTW, if I ever die please delete my browser history...it's completely shameful!

Yup, this is what would happen if my family saw my browser history.
After looking at reviews (did I mention completely shameful browser history) I made a decision on which club in Baltimore to venture to.  Stephanie, L, and I had dinner then drove up.  Parking in Baltimore is a nightmare but this place had their own valet parking lot.  I had never been to a strip club that had it's own valet...  If that weren't enough when we got up to the entrance the bouncers had ear pieces in and were carrying walkie talkies.  After showing our IDs the bouncers radioed us to enter the building.  After entering the building we were in a little boxed off area where we paid the cover fee and be radioed in again. 

If I thought the outside with the valet parking and muscled bouncers carrying technology was intimidating I was about to have my mind blown.  This place had two floors, the pole went all the way up to the second floor, there were cushioned red rolly chairs, there were special fancy tables with bottles service available, and a special closed off area for lap dances.  The three of us stood there stupefied until some young man walked by and said something like, "My name is Eugine and I will be your host for the evening."  A host!?  How in the world is a boobie bar going to have a host!?

For the first ten minutes we wandered around aimlessly until we finally decided to stop at the bar and get drinks.  We watched from an awkward angle until we decided that we would just sit at one of the tables with the rolly red chairs.  We figured that we would get a table dance sooner or later so that we could keep the table. 

Sitting was nice and comfortable.  We were able to just talk and relax.  However, every once in a while I would feel silly and go up to the stage, squeeze my way in between some random guys and tip the dancers.  While I was up there I met some interesting people.  One was some mid life crisis Indian guy that was making it rain one dollar bills.  I found out from the others that it was his first time at a strip club.  It was fun watching him and I was having a good time until one of the guy put his arm around me and whispered, "Does her dancing turn you on?"  I gave an awkward laugh and returned back to Stephanie and L.  No, thank you Creepazoid!

From the table Stephanie, L, and I watched the girls and tried to figure out which one we wanted to come give us a table dance.  I really wanted to get this one girl that looked like Nicki Minaj!  Only because Stephanie and L thought that she was scary.  She came out wearing some kind of whips and chains get up and did a dance to "Anaconda."  She had a muscular and toned body, a beautiful face, but her jaw line was scary...  Like, she looked like the type of girl that would break you in half.  As if her body didn't look intimidating enough the skills she had...  OMG!  Stuff that I didn't even think strippers could actually do!  Nicki Minaj Stripper climbed up the pole to the second floor, quickly slid down, and landed in the splits so hard that you could hear her heels hit the stage floor.  It was totally unbelievable!  I had to leave to the table and shove myself between Indian Guy and Creepazoid so I could tip her!  I felt bad for Nicki Minaj Stripper though after her dance.  A group of men called her back for a table dance and were just... grabby and rude.  Screaming things like, "Yea, you bounce for that dollar!"


None of the girls (aside from Nicki Minaj) seemed too memorable to us.  Side note, you know what's disturbing?  When girls come down the pole with their legs wide open and you can see inside them! 


We were going to give up on finding the girl to come dance on our table until a petite girl with perfect teeth and lots of tattoos came out.  You know that song "I'm in luv with a stripper"?  I swear the three of us had it going on in our head because we were all in agreement that she was "the one."  She was the one that we wanted to come dance on our table.  We called our host (still can't believe strip clubs have host) and asked him to have her come over for the table dance.


While we were waiting for the tattooed stripper to come we saw a lone man walking towards our table looking around awkwardly.  Turns out he was a former co-worker, we will call him F.  Stephanie and I ran up to him and in typically hyper girly fashion did the, "Oh my God!  What are you doing here!?  How have you been?  We haven't seen you in forever!"  He was obviously very taken aback and awkwardly mumbled and pleaded over and over, "Please don't tell anyone you saw me here..." or "I never come to these places..." and "I'm supposed to be meeting someone outside any minute, I didn't intend to come in here"  Uh huh...sureee....  That's why whenever I told the host I needed some ones you pulled out a huge wad of them! ;)

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When the tattooed stripper came she introduced herself as Elise.  We paid for the table dance and she did her thing.  Let me tell you all of us were paying attention.  After the fact L and I were talking about laying in front of the mirror and doing things like making your thighs shake and tapping your booty.  We weren't the only ones taking notes though!  F sat there through the table dance and awkwardly rubbed one leg while the other one was bouncing, it kind of reminded me of Thumper!



After Elise's dance she stayed at the table and talked with us.  She even picked a little fun at F on how she saw him sitting in the back by himself.  Hahahaha!  You know it's bad when the stripper is calling you out!  While she was talking to us Stephanie pointed out that she had an Ariel tattoo on her leg.  Ariel is my favorite and that just convinced me even more that I had fallen in love with this stripper.  I was so convinced that I texted Ticklebug and let him know I was leaving him for one.  Hahaha!  Of course he knew I was kidding!  She stayed with us until it was time for her to go back and do her second dance routine.  While she was up we took seats by the stage and blew all our money...  we are no better than men....hahaha!


When Elise's dance was complete we called her back so that Stephanie could get her first lap dance ever!  Here is one thing I dislike about these classy strip clubs...  I can't watch!  Hahaha!  I really wanted to see Stephanie's face as she got her first lap dance. 

I picture Steph's lap dance going like this hahaha!

By the time Steph's lap dance was over it was past 1am and our old lady ways were kicking in so we decided to head home.

While waiting for the valet Stephanie and I were approached by some lesbians.  Stephanie had some butch lesbian asking for her number and I had a Mexican girl flat out state "I want to get you know you better..."  In that tone.  L wasn't much help in saving us...  She was flirting with the (very attractive) bouncer.  When the cars got there Stephanie was almost followed home by some older man that was screaming things at her like, "How are you going home?" and "Where have you been all my life!?"  Getting into the cars was like a 10 minute event!

All in all it was a blast!  I would totally go again.  In fact, some friends and I are secretly planning another trip for another friend.  This would be her first time and I'm all about the first time!